Thursday night. May 5, 2011. Cinco de Mayo.
After I finally found a parking space in the Greenlake community (it is easier to find a Republican in this liberal community than it is to find a parking space), I found my bride close to the front of the long line of party revelers entering our favorite local watering hole. The music was loud, the margaritas were obviously being poured in record numbers by the mood of the cliental, and the smell of the food rolled out into the street in front of the shop. This place was anything but quiet.
We decided to go in and people watch. I had a couple beers with the nachos, Candace had a natural margarita, and we both got an eyeful that evening, in the people watching department. The fun began in the last category the moment we first sat down. Immediately to my right was a trio of celebrants who had, by all visible account, gotten an early start on the evening. One guy and two ladies swapped conversational anecdotes laden with profanities, obscenities, and an occasional blasphemy thrown in for good measure. I just looked across the table at Candace and smiled at our “good fortune”. She wasn’t looking at me, however. Her attention was captured by the behavior of our three neighbors, all of whom were about our age.
While the man and his (quite obvious) um... partner were all over each other, the third wheel friend shouted across the small cocktail table to her love-struck and intoxicated partners in crime (alright, their behavior was not criminal, but it certainly would have garnered them a ticket if done in a public park). The entire time they sat talking, the language was loud, crude, and interrupted only by outbreaks of physical passion, or possibly, inebriated flirtation. As the drinks continued to arrive, so, too, did the eventual restroom break. As the feminine half of the power-passion Wonder Twins excused herself from the table with one last tonsillectomy of her be-lusted, Candace stared with eyes wide and mouth agape.
It gets better.
Wonder Twin #2 isn’t gone from the table more than thirty seconds before Third Wheel springs into action, and Wonder twin #1 reciprocates. I think I have done a fine enough job detailing the private actions that were displayed for the public at a table that is just 3 feet away from us, so I will highlight the less carnal behaviors of our neighbors.
When Wonder Twin #2 returned to the table, everything had cooled down at ground zero, but the party was anything but over. These three made more noise than almost everybody else in the whole place combined. This is not close to an exaggeration, either, because when they were gone (after stumbling out of their seats, sitting on our table, falling all over each other and us), the whole place was quiet. No more harpy-cackling or drunken, “Oh yeah, baby!” being shouted every dos minutos.
That whole episode lasted about 25 minutes, by the way. Maybe 35. Seemed like a couple days, but it was definitely less than an hour.
But wait. It gets better. Stick around for Part 2.
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